Day 104 : What is walked is walked.

                I had a tendency, within my process, to judge myself because of my falls, and therefore focus on my falls rather take into consideration my process as a whole, and thus see and realize the points I walked already for myself.

                Within this, I had tendency to see my process through my falls, instead of see myself as a being, learning what standing really is, walking the process in my own complexity, integrity and utilize each points to simply walk, no matter what.

                The point which I realized is, that why I fall in specific pattern is, that I was simply not able to see everything which has been connected to this point which and when I decided walk it, and thus fall was inevitable because point has not been walked in its own entirety.

                And thus here I see, that I had also tendency to disregard myself and my process because of this falls, instead of see and take into consideration that simply I was not prepared to take on some points, or that I was not able to see everything and anything which I allowed to myself to live as a system as relationships to this points.

                I am not saying here, that because of this I can take it the way that ok, I can fall because it do not matter or that I am not prepared to walk specific points, no. I am saying, that when I fall, ok, I will not judge me, I will not disregard myself and my process, and thus I will not disregard my walking, but I will utilize this fall to see and realize why I accepted and allowed to myself to fall, what this fall is saying about myself, what was the points I fall, and therefore I utilize my falls for my standing.

                Interestingly, I feared to fall but this was silly, as what is real standing and simply not accepting and allowing the mind to direct me, requires simply self trust, self honesty, self introspection, simply be here and thus see and realize what is going on within and without.  

                And disregard ones process for one fall is simply stupid, as this one point can’t determine ones walking of process, as I am in process of learning what equality and oneness really is, and within this, I see and realize that I am learning to myself to see who I am here, to see what is here, to see myself and others equally, and what is real equality.

                And the equality begins with self equality, where self is equal to everything and anything self consist of and exist as.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself because of my fall into and as mind, instead of see and realize that my very living, that my very nature and my very existence became the mind thus one constant fall as living in and as mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself because of the moments I fall into and as mind as participation on thoughts, memories, projections, ideas, believes, instead of utilize this points to see and realize for myself what is this saying about me, how I can walk the points I participated in the mind for myself through writing and self forgiveness and thus realize for myself how I can stand the point I walk.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself because of my existence as the mind and my submission to the mind, instead of stand equal and one with my mind, to see and realize everything what is going on within and as me, and thus give myself the opportunity to release myself from such acceptances of living as a programmed system.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize, that very existence of the mind as a system is the nature of me as nature of myself as the fall into and as separation and inequality at very beginning of acceptance of creation of the mind, and that this creation is just saying about myself, that I wanted to be more than who I really am, that I wanted to have power over others because I separated myself from myself and thus started to see myself as separate entity from myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself for the existence of the mind as a system of thoughts, energies and projections, ideas , believes and thus through this judge everything mind exist as and consist of and not see and realize that by this I judged my own creation as the mind and acceptance of existence of the mind as separation myself from myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge the mind as a system of inequality, instead of see and realize that this is the mind what mind was created for, to keep myself and others enslaves into and as submission as a robots for generating the energy and thus sustain its own power to have control over myself and over beings.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge the mind for the mechanics how mind works, instead of see and realize that this is simply purpose of the mind, to have control and direct beings into delusion and believes about myself and themselves.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear that I fall into the mind, instead of see and realize that I became the mind thus by this I feared what and who I am and what I became.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to hide in front of my own creation as a judgment of myself as – What have I done?

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself as a judgment of – What have I done? As a judgment of myself what I accepted and allowed to myself and others to live, as a enslaved being in delusions about myself and themselves and by this do not want to take responsibility  for my creation as by this I lived in judgment of myself as – What have I done? Because this very judgment of myself comes from seeing and realization what I really accepted and allowed to myself and others to live in and as enslavement of a programmed system as a mind, where starting point of this was me separated from myself, and thus not wanting to be equal from myself because of my own self delusion about myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself by judgment as – What have I done as a point of seeing and realizing what I created for myself as a living system and what I accepted for myself to trap me into delusion about me through believes, ideas, projections, desires and by paradox to desire me, to project my life, to create ideas about life, to believe in life, instead of stand up, and simply live my life as life, as equal and one I exist as and consist of here, as breath as living being where anything and no one have power over me, but I am directive principle of my life and my actions, not programmed system I accepted to myself to live for me.

Thanks, Juraj