I see a lot of work which is in front of me, this is placed in time line and previously, I wanted to skip some steps, not possible. Each one must to go one by one, precisely. I see only one way and other ways are not possible. I cannot skip what needs to be done as first, as if I would so step ahead will be not stable - Stability, consistency.
I see my past, what I’ve done, it is what it is. It is done. It is no more here, just memories and those memories are not real, even if I speak, each one understand differently, each one see it from his/hers own perspective. Because they miss the fact, that everything they experience, they create and it has nothing to do what is outside of them.
Except of those which are walking their process, they understand and they see, they look into themselves and they see how they created and what they created.
So I am alone. I am not lonely. I am alone as I am here, but this is not feeling of loneliness. I am fine with me, I am okey with me, I like me and I love me.
I do not experience desire to be loved, as I love myself, therefore the illusion of necessity to be loved by someone else outside of me is gone. It is like, what I have been searching outside of me, I found in me, I found myself. I am with me, within me. I value myself and I see my worth within me, I am not more or less.
I do not search anymore.
I do not close my eyes in front of my world, I do not close my eyes in front of world I see.
What I see is what needs to be fixed. I see the world full of liars, hiders, abusers, killers, rapists, stealers, I could continue. I am not saying this as judgment of what I see, as it is not bad or good, it is what it is. I am responsible for this creation.
And because of what is the world as it is? Because of illusion of self experience in regards of energy which moves within each human body. Because what humans experience, they believe they experience themselves, but it is not. It is just self definition to specific energy movement, energy creation through act of thinking and participating on.
Isn’t it strange, to live self definition? I used to do it also. For example:
To see something or someone, compare and from that comparison create judgment of myself bad/good. From that judgment, create justifications and excuses why I act the way I act, or why I think what I think. From that acting create self delusion and self guilt, anger, sorrow, love, misinterpretation. Because of that, and not able to handle it, so I suppressed and let it be suppressed and pretend I am ok and smile with others on the same bullshits in never ending circles of self deception.
Because of what? Because of believed experience of myself towards energy movement within me, without any understanding that it is me who creates this energy. And so I created some energy movement, that movement defined as love/sadness/loneliness/anger/fear etc, and from that definition I created my self experience towards it and believed that I experience myself because of some outside stimuli, but without complete forgotten fact, that it is me who created all of this, and nothing of this was real.
Can be something more ridiculous as this? How come that we are completely deluding ourselves, in believes and ideas, it is vast.
Try it for yourself – stop energy within you, and you will see.